Thursday, April 25, 2013

Green Around the Gills

With a full day's rain the landscape shines brilliantly in shades of green. The sheen is sweet but is one of pure saccharin. Sweeter than sugar. Bitter when gone.

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Hug me tightly and tell me you understand. Tell me you understand. I'll sob deeply when you have finally found me.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Random Musings: #1

Rocky foot paths up to the peak
Where the leaves struggle to reach
The priest's ruck sack slung
A man prodding ladder rungs

 Tengudake Night

It murmurs softly as it babbles
Clouds fold into the ravine
They billow and blow
Refracting to earth in a brilliant array
My heart is at a solemn wake

Grave secrets at life's peak


It has been a long and slow climb out of the winter mire. I'll simply leave it as that.

I finally continued work on my camera project. The handle was an intimidating part to finish. I still haven't completed the balance adjustments however. For the time being I'll use clamps to secure bolts and washers that balance the weight properly.

The following is my test video with running and walking up stairs. It was windy so the camera is a little wobbly. That's also because I don't know how to handle it smoothly yet. It's very sensitive. Watch in HD for a more enjoyable experience.

I'm heading off on a long road trip at the end of the month. I hope to create a video of my journeys. Tally up the hobby list because it's always one thing after another.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

It Feels Like Mine

The only regret that comes to mind are all the places waiting to be found that I won't ever make it to.

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I've done my best.

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No reason to feel any regret.

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I can't count how many times everything felt old and stale. I can't count how many times it became renewed.

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I have said I seek paths but maybe it isn't so. They always are looking for me.

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Just me and the kami standing in this alcove. My car has taken me far and wide. I will truly be sad when I have to let it go.

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Who will carry on where I leave off? Who will nurture what so many others simply left?

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My sentiments ooze like the slippery algae. How much more of it can you stand before you fall off?

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I don't care about legacies or who carries on my history. Yet, those who wish to take part I will most definitely oblige.

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Not even the graves are spared from garish plastic vases. So much for sanctity. The future worries me.

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Leave nature to decorate. It's so much better that way.

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I don't know who is going to understand me and what I feel.

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I'll be fine as long as life continues to be nothing more than real.

Chasing Through Tosa

Why do I always feel like I'm chasing after someone or something? There is nothing that is running away from me, yet there is something constantly slipping through the grooves on my fingers. I can feel its oily residue when I smear my thumb and index finger together. I smash them together to try to bring back to mind whatever it is I'm looking for. But most of the time the thoughts fade away just like the sun beating on the roads after the so familiar spring rain.


I've got to keep searching. There isn't anything else I can do. I'm always looking and checking in far away places. Nothing is here except the smell of wet cypress. The wetness is so thick. It pulls on my nostrils and leads me farther in.

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My feet fall hard in a constant fury of progress. The moss stands up to my endeavors as if to remind me to tread more lightly. Take a softer step and see where you go and not what you seek.

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In the clefts and folds of fallen limbs, this once noble flower found a beautiful grave. Such elegant beauty in finality. Every moment and experience dropping from our minds and to the past.

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The sounds tether around my ears. I can hear the water drip on the leaves like a clock that has fallen out of time. It makes me move slow and erratic. It's tricky to pace yourself to nature's rhythm.

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I'm like those vines. Racing or crawling up the tree. That's dictated by the inner eye.

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There are always paths to be found. Bridges in the most unlikely of places. Maybe I'm always searching for paths. Paths that go somewhere but to no thing or person. Even though that flower resting peacefully and so beautifully seems ideal, I can't nestle comfortably into a spot to waste away.

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The green is intoxicating to my complicated soul. It makes me long for more.

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More of what though? Have I not already acquired so much of what I'm constantly seeking. How can I know what I've accomplished if I still not know what I'm after?

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I feel so close to the thin veil that hangs before me. I reach forward to pull it back. I quickly find another and another. It never ends.

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The endlessness is alluring. I might be addicted to pursuing what will never be finished. But what in life ever has an end except death?

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People probably see nothing other than a man living so aloof and beyond normalcy. I'm like a prickly thistle. Just enough that you wouldn't want to touch me. No time taken to find my tender roots.

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I feel like I'm waiting for my favorite radio program that I can't see from 60 years ago. I can only imagine what is next.

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I'm waiting. I'm listening intently. I might never see anything but I'll know that I heard so well.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Owning It All For Nothing

The blood in my head is pushes for the outer edge of my cranium as I go around all the turns. It makes my skull pound for a second and then it equalizes. Everything is fine once again. I'm glad to escape.

IMG_6614_4-15 Omogo and Beyond

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Why are so many people ambivalent? Look how it was once dormant and dead but now it slowly creeps back to thrive in the warm sun. I feel sad sometimes that my enthusiasm sinks into the trees and leaves. The happy laughter echoes of the rocks but nobody hears the timbre.
 IMG_6637_4-15 Omogo and Beyond

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I sprawled out on the smooth sun bathed rocks and shut my eyes. The water slowed my heart down a few beats more than expected. What really goes beyond this blissful simplicity?

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I think I might know. Just maybe.

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Then again I could be wrong. Some are waiting or hoping to catch something that has already passed.

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So many aimless endeavors. Who am I say my aims are more worthy or noble?

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If you climb yourself into a valley, you always have to climb your way out.

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Each day races past. There is time well spent. There is a future where you will languish thinking about what you didn't let pass.

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There is far too much the human heart cannot withstand or understand. We let our insides grow darker and darker.

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All things in life fill me with sorrow.

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No matter the position of my heart, I can't do anything but look up and wait for tomorrow.